“The ultimate aim of the ego is not to see something, but to be something” – Muhammad Iqbal
I often think about this quote. This quote is attributed to Muhammad Iqbal, a renowned poet and philosopher from Pakistan. It suggests that the ego’s primary drive isn’t simply to perceive and understand the world (seeing), but rather to actively participate in it and shape one’s own identity (being).
Keeping that perspective in mind, we often think about the purpose of ego in our life. Ego is this voice inside us which helps navigate the world. Question is, is our ego a friend or enemy? Most of you would think of ego bad a thing. However, there is alternative view to that. Ego can be a driver of positivity in your life and we will discuss that here in detail. But first, lets view the role of ego as an enemy.
Ego as the Enemy – Bad Ego
Makes you think you are superior
An inflated ego will make you think that you are superior and better than everyone else around you. This can lead to hindering growth. An example of this is refusing to accept constructive criticism because you believe you are already perfect. This can make people around you think you are “egoistic” and they will spot giving you feedback if they see you are not receptive to that feedback.
Keeps you out of touch with reality
A strong ego can create blind spots for you. This can cause you to keep you out of touch with reality and make you blind to your own flaws or others needs. Eventually, this causes disharmony in relationships. An example of this is dismissing feedback from colleagues because you think your ideas are always superior and better. This is the perfect example of ego as your enemy.
Creates unwanted negativity
Your ego can be bad for you if it keeps you in a state of constant envy and jealousy of others. This can create an environment of unwanted sense of competition and negativity. People who let their bad ego takeover are never happy of the success of others around them. This causes them to self isolate and affects their relationship in a negative way,
Challenges learning and growth
If your ego makes you inflexible, then its your enemy. The only way to grow is to remain flexible, learn new things and evolve with time. But if your ego does not allow you to be open to new ideas and thoughts then of course it will challenge your growth.
Now, lets look at ego as your friend.
Ego as the Friend – Good Ego
Gives you confidence and courage
Good ego will always give you a sense of self-worth and confidence, specially in tough times. Successful people use their ego as a friend and use it to drive inner strength and motivation to pursue your goals. Good ego comes in handy when you are trying new things. For example, if you are trying to learn a new skill, your ego will keep reminding you that ‘you can do it!’ regardless of the setbacks you face.
Drives you to constantly improve
Your ego as your friend motivates you to learn, grow, and strive for excellence. Some of the world’s best athletes, artists and professionals recognise their good ego and use it for their personal growth. Even though they get praise, they still constantly push themselves to explore new boundaries because they know that success is a journey, not a destination.
Helps you protect your boundaries
Good ego can also help you protect your boundaries. Let’s look at the case of Sarah who is a software programmer. She is confident about her work and knows exactly what she is doing. She protects her boundaries by “Saying no” to extra work. This allows Sarah to confidently focus on her current work and deliver with quality without compromise. Her friendly ego saves her from burn out and allows her to accomplish her best work.
These are just few examples. Your good ego can help you remain motivated. It helps you build resilience. It challenges you to participate in healthy and positive competition.
Its important to be aware when your ego steps in “to be something”. Is your ego opening a door for you to the best version of yourself? Or is your ego stopping you from exploring new opportunities or avenues or growth? Answering some of these questions will help you differentiate between your good ego and bad ego.